Saturday, January 22, 2011

Life Lessons From The Dog Whisperer

“Dogs are a vehicle to reconnect with a balanced state of mind.”

- Cesar Millan, aka “The Dog Whisperer”

Here at our house, we have a slight addiction to the Dog Whisperer – the show on the National Geographic Channel.  It features Cesar Millan, the superstar dog trainer, who I SWEAR is actually half dog, half human.  Cesar has an absolutely unique ability to connect to dogs, to understand what is going on with them, and then to help modify their behavior.  It’s sort of spooky how quickly he can “listen” to the energy of the dog and diagnose the situation.  However, most of his interventions focus on changing the behavior of the humans.  As he says on his show, “I rehabilitate dogs, and I train humans.”  In that way, Cesar is really just like a therapist, he helps people understand what is going on with their dog, but really he helps them understand what is going on with their life. 

As a side note, Cesar’s personal story is also amazing – he was an illegal immigrant who came across the California border and was basically broke and homeless when he first got a job washing dogs in Los Angeles.  His life story has just taken off since then. 

This past week we were watching one of the brand new episodes of the Dog Whisperer.  It occurred to me that while Mad Dog and I have very different perspectives on the world, we both have learned a tremendous amount from Cesar - it’s one of the things we agree on more frequently.  And I think that Cesar is an example of the fact that we can learn a great deal about how to live our lives from some of the most unexpected places.  So without further introduction, here are the top 6 life lessons we can learn from the Dog Whisperer. 

Lesson #1.  Most dog problems are fundamentally people problems. In order to modify the dog behavior, Cesar first has to understand what is going on with the human.  

What this means for everyone:  Whenever we examine a "problem" in our life - we need to look at everyone and everything around the problem.  Sometimes what we perceive to be the problem is really just the SYMPTOM of something else that is going on.  Dog misbehavior is a symptom of some other imbalance in our life.  If our child, or our coworker or our spouse is “misbehaving” – what else is going on that would cause that symptom?  We have to start with the root cause of the problem, not with the symptom.  

Lesson #2.  Most problems are related to the energy that we project.  Dogs just pick up on the energy we project.  They don’t understand our language, they only understand our energy.  When a dog is behaving poorly, we need to first identify the energy we are projecting that they are reacting to.  What's going on with our energy that is impacting the dog?

What this means for everyone:  Sometimes, we need to ignore the words and the language that someone says, and pay attention to the non-verbal dynamics that are doing on between people.  If we turn off the sound, and listen with our whole body, we can learn to hear what is really going on with our energy and the energy of the people around us. 

Lesson #3.  When a dog has learned a pattern of bad behavior, we can use the "power of the pack" to reteach them how other dogs behave better.  Cesar will frequently take the dog away and have them come live with his pack of dogs so they can learn new behaviors.  Sometimes, we are not the best teachers, but we need to figure out who else to use to teach (other dogs).  The re-training doesn't have to come from us, and sometimes it comes fastest from a group of other dogs.

What this means for everyone:  Sometimes, we need to find the right peer group to interact with when we want to make a life change.  Sometimes, we just can't make changes all alone, it’s just really really hard.  We should learn to USE the positive power of peer pressure to make positive changes in our life.  We need to find the right people who can teach us what we most want to learn and then surround ourselves by those people so we can learn from the right pack. 

Lesson #4.  Dogs have the potential to help humans heal their own challenges.  The dog is really just a mirror for what is going on with the human. 

What this means for everyone:  Anything – absolutely anything - in our life can help us heal and grow, if we open up to the possibility of that.  Our dog, our spouse, our manager, our child, our client or our neighbor - all of these people in our life can help us grow, IF we open up continually to our own growth.  

Lesson #5.  There is no magic wand.  Even though Cesar can come in to a home and diagnose the problem, the human has to do the real work to create the transformation and change the dog’s behavior.  Cesar can't do the work for them.  

What this means for everyone:  We have to be committed to our own change and know what we want to be different in our life.  When Cesar comes in to help someone, he always asks something to the effect, of "how can I help you" - and "what would improvement for your dog look like" -- so the human states right up front what is important to them.  Cesar then focuses his effort around helping them make that specific change. Similarly, we have to know what we want in our life and we have to be willing to "do the work" that is necessary.  

Lesson #6.  Transformation is always possible.  Cesar never ever gives up on any dog.  Sometimes, he gives up on trying to help the humans, but overall, he believes in the extraordinary potential of every dog.  Every dog is worth helping and every dog is capable of change. He particularly loves the big, powerful, aggressive breeds, possibly because they are so frequently misunderstood.   

What this means for everyone:  We should never give up on ourselves.  Change is always possible.  We just need to try different approaches and be clear about what outcomes we want in our life.  

Cesar has one goal he shares repeatedly on nearly every show – this is his description of the ideal state of every human being: “Calm, assertive, energy.”  If humans project calm, assertive, energy, then their dogs will respond very well to that. So will all the other people around them. 

So this is my wish for everyone this coming week – may you all experience calm assertive energy, and may you all experience a balanced state of mind.  

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