Newsflash: Catch People Doing Something Right

I was in a leadership training class a couple weeks ago, with a facilitator from another company. We spent two days digging deep into one specific model of leadership. The class was relatively interesting and I took some useful notes.

Once thing I wrote down has stuck in my mind and I have been chewing on it since then:

“Catch people doing something right.” - Ken Blanchard

My understanding of this statement was that Ken Blanchard thought that managers – in their quest to manage other people - might be more prone to catch people doing things wrong. In large organizations, this is often the case. Traditional behavior modification efforts – in offices, in schools, at home – can be lumped into two camps – the carrot or the stick. With the stick, you criticize people for doing wrong, and you punish them. With the carrot, you can motivate people with something they want: money, recognition, a larger office, candy, etc. Parents of small children are very familiar with this dichotomy.

I believe that what Ken Blanchard was suggesting was that if we focus on catching people doing the right things in the right ways, and we praise that behavior and recognize that behavior, people will do more of that behavior. He encouraged business leaders to get in the habit of catching people doing something right every day.

I tend to think we should catch people doing something right for a different reason entirely. We should catch people doing something right because it will put us in a better mood. It will make us smile, it will make us happier, and it will make us more grateful for other people. I wrote in my previous posting that whatever we pay attention to in our life expands. If we look for people doing wrong, we will find more people doing wrong. If we look for people doing right, we will find more people doing right. Whatever we pay attention to expands. Therefore, why not spend more energy looking for the positive experiences in our life?

I bought a new car this weekend. The process of buying the car was a thoroughly and completely unpleasant experience. I was passed around between four different salesmen, I was given wrong information, or not given information I requested, and by the time I had decided on the exact car to buy, I was pretty irritated. Finally at 6:00 on a Saturday night I was passed to the finance manager, and he could totally tell that I was fed up. And he turned out to be a very nice man. He was calm, and apologetic, and sincere – not in a slimy way, just in a genuinely human way. He asked if something had happened to upset me, and I gave him the short overview of my experiences. We had a very calm, rational conversation, and I calmed down. He asked about the rest of my weekend, and my boyfriend, and we talked about things other than new cards. He could tell I wasn’t going to buy any of the extended warranties or additional financing products, so he didn’t even bother with his usual sales pitch. And on the one financing option where I was undecided, he was willing to give me another couple hours to decide. He didn’t try to pressure me and he didn’t hustle me, and he was just a very nice person, at the time when I totally needed to be working with a genuinely nice person. Thank you Brian Knight.

He’s someone who I caught doing something right. My sitting here recognizing him for doing something right is not going to change his behavior. What it changes is my attitude about people and my mental state. Instead of complaining about the slimy salesmen, I can be appreciative that there was one genuine man who was helpful and considerate during this process. Reflecting on his behaviors makes me less irritated and more grateful for the kindness of strangers. I for one would rather be in an appreciative state of mind than an irritated one.

After I left the car dealership - at 7:30 on a Saturday night, I then called my insurance agent, fully expecting to leave a message on voicemail. However, their after hours phone service routed me to an actual operator, who spoke English (!) and could actually help me immediately with my questions. The very friendly woman on the phone helped me by explaining the three insurance options I had for the new car, and actually told me that it would be in my best interest NOT to get the most expensive of the three options, and explained why. I couldn’t believe it. With one local phone call on a Saturday night, I got routed to a real person, who could actually help me, and within 10 minutes I had all the information I needed to make an informed decision. Talk about doing something right! That was more than right, that was AMAZING! Thank you Allstate.

So here’s where you can jump into this topic. Write in the comments section where you have caught people doing something right in the past two weeks. You don’t need to list specific names, but describe where/when/how you caught people being helpful.

The other option is to actually get in the habit of doing this on a daily basis. Every day this week, right down one instance where you caught someone doing something right. Bonus points if you take the extra step to actually tell them and thank them for doing something right.

Then at the end of the week, see if your mindset has shifted. And let me know how it goes.