Our new dog Charly - is a wonderful chocolate lab. He's about 3 years old and we're really proud of two things: we have successfully taught him not to jump up on the bed, and we have taught him to swim in the pool. Ok, so we bribed him with the swimming thing by using his favorite pink basketball as bait. But it worked, and he's now a great pool dog. Right now he's sound asleep, worn out from two different swim sessions today. You could say he is dog tired :-)
Charly was a rescue dog - he was rescued from Nogales, Arizona. He was in foster care for about a month before we adopted him, and he had suffered from several health issues. Ear infections, skin infections, you name it. He still has one cut in his ear that is 95% healed. Now he's also trying to recuperate from "Happy Tail Syndrome" - because he's wacked his tail so hard he's created two bleeding sores on the tip of his tail. Apparently this is common, but if we can't get it healed, we might have to amputate the tail. Oh, the perils of being a happy dog!
Anyway, the point of this background is that we don't know what Charly's life was like before us. We just know it was rough. He was scrawny and underweight when we got him, and his coat was really thin. Now he's a healthy weight and he's strong from twice a day walks. He's got a good life here, a great life really, and we love him.
However, sometimes when Mike goes to pet Charly, and he has his hand raised to do the petting, Charly will flinch and pull away. This drives Mike crazy, because he has never ever even come close to raising his hand against Charly. It also makes us sad. Because we can only assume that someone else did raise their hand against Charly, for why else would be flinch from us?
The thing I wonder, is not what happened to make Charly flinch, but how long will he need to live with us until he can learn to trust us completely? How long will it take him to unlearn the flinching? I don't need to know what happened to Charly - I can only assume bad things happened, but I want to generate trust with Charly. I want him to forget the bad stuff and learn to trust us, so he can relax.
How long will this take and is it a function of time alone? Or is there anything we can do to accelerate this process?
Of course, the corollary question is about people - and how long does it take people to relearn trust after they have been hurt? I'm not referring only to physical pain, but also emotional pain. I know a lot of people who have been hurt, or disappointed. And I wish there was some way to accelerate the trust process. I know there is no formula for this, and I'm not wishing for one. I'm just wishing I could do more to accelerate this process. It's hard to just be patient and wait. I'm an active person and I always want to know what I can do. Doing is easier than waiting.
As for Charly, I will just continue to love him, and continue to hug him. I'm not going anywhere, and I have plenty of love to share.
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